


loving tōru oikawa

by supernotcool



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29477520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernotcool/pseuds/supernotcool
Summary: over the course of 6 years, you learned many things about your boyfriend tōru oikawa, learned that loving him was not what you thought it'd be.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Kudos: 22





	loving tōru oikawa

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this was also posted on my tumblr @ukai-simp-services <3

loving tōru oikawa was not something you felt at first, it actually took you by surprise.

constant teasing coming from both ends made you wonder if it would turn into anything more, a sort of ‘sexual tension’ always lingering between the two of you. both of you thought that this would be it; endless remarks being jabbed at one another, maybe leading to a quick hook up - but nothing more.

secretly though, you both silently prayed it would be more.

because the day that it happened, the day that the line between teasing and flirting was crossed, and the two of you ended up in fiery kiss - that was the day you both began craving something deeper than what you had.

3am calls, the backseat of his car, hushed whispers, the supply closet at school, teasing turned to flirting; this became the norm between you two for a good 2 months.

after two months, you both began chasing something you couldn’t have yet. yes, playing around with oikawa was, exhilarating - to say the least - but you were unsure about if it could ever turn into something more. you knew tooru’s heart belonged to the volleyball court, that was a given. but what hurt you the most, was that you never felt the way oikawa felt about volleyball, about anything.

sure, you had your hobbies; whether it be writing, drawing, video games, photography or literally anything else - it didn’t matter, because you never felt the same passion and drive that oikawa felt for volleyball. you never bent over backwards for something you cared about so hard that you hurt yourself doing it. and while that could be one of his faults, it also benefited him in so many ways - got him extremely successful in his hobby and soon-to-be career.

so yes, insecurity got the best of you, you felt that oikawa deserved someone more strong-willed, like him; someone more ambitious than you. a strong minded person did not need someone weak minded to bring them down.

what you didn’t know, was that oikawa faced his **own** insecurities every single day. insecurities of not being good enough for this sport, insecurities of not living up to everyone’s expectations of him, insecurities that **you** didn’t want more than a quick hook up out of him. and while he didn’t know if he did either, he still wanted you to want him. because that was oikawa’s problem; he loved the chase, but what would happen when it came down to real commitment and love? how could he love someone else if he couldn’t love himself?

oikawa was commitment shy, insecure about his abilities, and insecure about you. and you were insecure about your lack of ambition, insecure about how he felt about you, and terrified of falling harder for someone you weren't good enough for.

how the hell did you two get together?

no one said loving tōru oikawa would be easy, it sure as hell was not. it took months more of you dancing around a relationship, you avoiding him for a week out of pure insecurity on your end, and him being too caught up in volleyball to actually do something about the arising problem between you two.

one fateful day while you two were cuddled up in his room, you got the courage to speak up.

**_“what are we doing, tooru?”_** were the words you used, specifically.

you remember seeing his cool demeanor drop for 1/2 a second, wide eyed and stiff shoulders. his faux persona washed back over him almost immediately after.

**_“having fun, right y/n?”_ **

his tone was sickly sweet, trying unbearably hard to cover up the nervousness in his voice, wanting so bad to cower away and scream out “please just leave me alone, i don’t want to hurt you.”

you swallowed, so that’s all you were to him then? some fun? your insecurities told you that you were right to be scared this whole time. your anxiety made your palms sweat and your chest tighten. but the rage you felt from a build up of months and months of kissing and teasing and flirting relentlessly is what made you speak up.

**_“i didn’t think you were like this, oikawa. i didn’t think you were like_** **_most_** **_guys who just want me for my body. that’s fucked up.”_**

you wanted to wait and hear a response, but the blankness in his eyes as they stared into yours told you that he didn’t have anything to say, that it was time to go and leave this behind.

so you did, you left his house and didn’t look back. you didn’t talk to him for weeks after and he didn’t attempt to talk to you.

he **knew** he wanted to be with you. something inside him was telling him that this wasn’t just the chase this time, he wanted the real thing with you. he grew to miss your touch and your company, but many would try and tell him that he was just touch-starved and craved the romantic aspect of a relationship - he didn’t want the real thing.

but he knew he did, he was completely sure that he did when he saw you at school sitting with all your friends - the friends that the both of you shared. he knew it when he saw you laughing at a joke someone made, it might’ve even been iwa’s joke but he tried not to think about that. he knew it when you did that thing after you finish laughing and nobody’s looking; when you look down at your hands and bite your lip, shaking your head, because you still think the joke is funny, but don’t wanna keep laughing while everybody else has stopped. he knew it when his heart squeezed in pain at how beautiful you were and he had to refrain himself from crying right there and then.

he didn’t go join you and sit down with all your friends that day, he went home - and did a whole lot of self-reflection.

he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t stand not being with you; that despite his many flaws, he was willing to push them to the side and be with you. that is, if you still wanted him to.

and you did, but your insecurities only skyrocketed when you realized oikawa didn’t want you the way you wanted him. you heard him yourself, you saw the way he didn’t even give you a reaction when you spoke your final words to him. maybe it was better off this way, but your heart hurt.

you didn’t expect him to show up at your door, definitely not with a bag of your favorite fast food order in his hand.

**_“can we talk?”_ **

his eyes were sparkling and his mouth had a soft smile on it, but neither of them did the justice of hiding the prominent look of worry in his face; worry that you would slam the door on him and give him no peace of mind.

you missed him.

that’s why you let him inside your house and brought him into your living room, perching uncomfortably on the edge of your own couch.

that's when he began, he began the speech that you never thought you’d ever hear come from his mouth. he told you everything, every insecurity and flaw, every fuck up and every reason he shut you down. but he never made any real “excuses”. that was simply him showing you the raw, real, side to him. an apology is what he gave you, not an excuse.

you pondered, pondered if you should accept him for who he was.

but, was that even a question?

because loving tōru oikawa was never promised to be a walk in the park. what was promised was that he’d give you every ounce of his undying love, what was promised was that he’d never give up on you as long as you never gave up on him, and what was promised was that if things ever got too much and if he ever hurt you, that he would not let you stay out of his own protection.

as a rebuttal, you promised him that you would talk everything out with him, every emotion and every insecurity, you promised him that if he supported your flaws that you would do the same for him, and you promised him that taking care of yourselves would always come first, no one would get hurt.

and no one did.

the first year of your relationship, your insecurities of not being ambitious enough to be with the king of overworking himself, came to a stop. tooru taught you everyday about passion and drive, his love for volleyball inspired you to seek out a love of your own. and while it wasn’t easy to just stand up and find something to motivate you everyday, tooru always stuck by your side to help guide the way. you weren’t perfect, but you felt happier and more purposeful than you ever had your entire life.

the second year of your relationship, tooru’s insecurities of not being good enough for the sport he loved so much took a toll on him and your relationship, but you were quick to shut it down. you nurtured him like you promised you would, you reminded him everyday of how successful he’d gotten with such hard work, but you also reassured him that rest days were necessary for growth and that he needed to take one every now and then. his struggle to be totally vulnerable around someone completely dissipated around you, he soon trusted you with his entire life.

the third year of your relationship, you were both stronger-minded people, but school and work made it hard to spend time together. it put a bit of strain on you both for a bit, but it was nothing a sit-down talk couldn’t work out. and suddenly your free days and nights were spent doing things that benefitted you both, together.

the fourth year of your relationship, work and school had paid off in excellent ways; you both found success in your lives. you had silly arguments here and there, but you both were finally completely comfortable with healthy disagreements. you both had gotten to a mental stability where you knew exactly how to work out any troublesome situations with each other. you knew each other like the back of your hands and had complete comfort in confiding in one another. childish insecurities from your adolesence were long gone, and the only stress that awaited you both were from work. you were both a safe home to come to every night, comforting and light-hearted.

the fifth year of your relationship, tooru had been acting distant, and you wondered where things were possibly going wrong. he spent more time out of the house than in and his kisses became more quick than long. an affair? a problem with his team? was he losing feelings? you were dying to know, and as much as you both were about open communication, it seemed as if you could never catch a moment of free time with him; he started coming home after you dozed off to sleep.

but what you didn’t know, was that he gave you a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead every night after creeping into the bedroom while you were sound asleep. you didn’t hear him as he whispered, **_“soon baby, soon.”_** because oikawa wasn’t having an affair, there was no problems with his team, and he wasn’t losing feelings in the slightest. he spent every night after practice planning out how he would propose to you - with the help of iwaizumi, of course.

it was a sunday, so you were coming home from work early. sunday’s were always tooru’s off days, but for the sake of his masterplan to work; he had been telling you that because of a tough upcoming game, he would need maximum practice every single day of the week. you frowned in confusion at his words, he knew you would, but you didn’t press.

right on the dot, at 3pm sharp when you had arrived home from work that sunday, he sent the text to your phone, the text he had been planning out for months now.

**_darling, i hurt my leg jogging to practice, i’m at the p/n_ **(park name) **_park. can you please come pick me up?_**

tooru knew you how you felt after weeks of acting distant towards you, he knew you were probably upset and confused, and that was the hardest part of the whole planning process. so many times he wanted to just come home early and absolutely gush about how excited he was to maybe marry you. he knew it no doubt had you upset with him, and that hurt him as well. but it would all be worth it in the end, and he was sure he knew you well enough to know that you’d still come help him in a “crisis”; even when unsettled with him.

and he was right, you shot him a text back saying you’d be on your way. you were a little skeptical as to why he was near that park, considering it was a little out of the way of the gym, but you’d wait till later to question him about it - god knew you already had **a lot** to question him about, anyway.

you spent 10 minutes driving around the large park looking for tooru, before texting him to ask where he was. he simply responded **_“by the old cherry blossom tree.”_**

you were even more confused as to why he was all the way over there, but as you approached the elderly tree, your heart stopped. a trail of your favorite flower petals led to a spot next to the tree, where said flower petals formed a medium-sized heart and held a piece of paper inside. you approached the heart shape and knelt down to pick up the piece of paper. what you held in your hand was a letter, with a gold wax seal stamp enclosing it. you scoffed when you saw the print of the stamp read the initials T.O, your boyfriend really was one for the dramatics.

you pulled at the seal to carefully open the letter. to your confusion, the letter only held a few sentences.

**_remember this is where we met y/n-chan, when you were strolling around with your friends and i was doing the same with iwa. that was the day we all became friends, and the first day that a pretty girl ever teased me back. your next destination is where we first hung out alone, without our friends. if you need help remembering, text iwa for a hint <3 ( you shouldn't need one, though >:( )_ **

you snorted at the wobbly angry face marked on the page. he was right, you didn’t need the hint, you knew exactly where to go. but suddenly, you regretted not putting on nicer clothes, you had left your house in a hurry after getting tooru’s text; still in your work clothes.

on the drive to the library your mind couldn’t stop racing, what was he doing? it wasn’t your anniversary yet, so what was the occasion? would this explain why he had been so distant with you?

it took you only 12 minutes to get to the library, you didn’t notice any flower petals until you approached the first set of sliding doors. your cheeks heated up immediately when you entered the building and all employees eyes were on you, watching and waiting. suddenly, you remembered why you hated grand gestures, but you couldn’t help the little butterflies that erupted in your stomach when you followed the flower petals to the exact table where you and tooru sat across from each other that fateful day.

an identical version to the previous letter you opened was sitting in the middle of the table, with the same heart shape surrounding it. you still felt some eyes on you, you knew that tooru definitely spent a long time arranging this if the entire library knew about it.

inside the note read:

**_yay, you made it! i hope you didn’t use any hints, my love. anyway, this table is where the two of us sat for 5 hours straight studying for the hardest math test of my life. i remember being so nervous to ask you to help me study at the library that day, but you being the nicest person ever; you were so patient with me and helped me get an 80 on the test. that was also the day i think we both realized there was something between us, something deeper than the teasing. the next place i want you to go to is where we hooked up at 3am in the back of my car for the first time, also where we went back to many more times because of how secluded it was. you know, i’d tell you to go to the place where we first kissed, but sadly that was at my parent’s house, not very romantic :/_ **

a grin broke out on your face at the thoughtful message, also at how cheesy your boyfriend could be. you once again knew exactly where you were going; no aid from iwaizumi needed.

it was a 30 minute drive, the flower petals started appearing as you made a turn into the parking lot of the beach. you knew exactly where the heart would be without even needing to follow the pedals; the parking space all the way to the right, in a corner, under the shade of a large tree.

you realized that you had never seen the beach in the daylight before, children running around with their parents at bay watching them. you began to wonder how the flower petals had remained in their precise positions, when people where coming in and out of the parking lot. you concluded that tooru must’ve had someone stick around to keep an eye on the location, watching to make sure nobody messed around with the plan.

you picked up the letter and opened it quickly - eagerly.

**_isn’t the beach gorgeous in the daylight, baby? we should come spend the day here one of these days. this is the spot where i parked my car all those nights; hidden away from any source of life. just me, you, and the stars above our heads. i remember touching your skin for the first time here. our first kiss and hookup was in my room at my house, but this was the first place i really touched you. the first place we tore our clothes off each other, grasping at one another with pure desire in our eyes. feels like we were so young, but that was only a little more than 5 years ago, huh? the next place i want you to go to is where our first official date was. it felt like we had been dancing around a relationship for so long before actually engaging in one. we were quite a difficult pair at first, i know; but we wouldn’t be where we are now without going through that time. it taught us so much about eachother, forced us to become completely vulnerable with eachother. i wouldn’t want it any other way, my love._ **

your eyes started tearing up halfway through the paragraph, you knew everything he said was true; it was something you both had discussed many times, but never did you feel more passionate about it than you did in that moment. the entire story of your relationship replayed in your head; you were suddenly remembering everything you two went through to get to where you were now.

you started getting antsy in your car on the way to the destination; you just wanted to see him, wanted to give him a kiss, give him a hug. it felt like it had been so long since the two of you just relished in each other’s company, and even though now you had a idea of why he was being so distant, you still couldn’t help but miss him and long for his touch.

you arrived at the ice skating rink at about 4:15pm. you were quick to hop out of your car and jog inside the building, eager to read your boyfriend’s touching words and to find out where you’d be going next.

the flower petals began at the front door leading to the inside of the rink. you looked around, and just like the library, all the employee’s eyes were on you, you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. one worker walked up to you and handed you a pair of your favorite colored ice skates. you looked down at her hands in confusion, looking back up to her face to see her give you an encouraging smile.

he was making you skate?

it shouldn’t have surprised you, tooru knew you sucked at ice skating - which is pricisely why he took you there on your first date; he wanted an excuse to hold your hand and help you learn to skate. he wanted to impress you, but if memory served you right; that plan backfired and he fell flat on his back twice that night, while you stayed on your feet the entire time.

you chuckled to yourself at the memory, while tying the laces of your skates. you silently hoped to god that no one would be watching you on the ice, just incase you fell.

you took a cautious step onto the ice, grabbing on the wall to steady yourself. it was then that you noticed the entire skating rink was empty, and the floor of ice was **completely** spotless. it was beautiful.

you took a deep breath, you **really** sucked at skating. you knew it would take you a little bit to adjust to the slippery feeling under your feet; you would have to hold onto the wall for a little bit too. your eyes fixated on the middle of rink, where the flower petals formed a large heart and of course, a stamped letter in the middle. you gripped the wall, knowing damn well that tooru putting that letter in the middle of the rink was more than ‘just for aesthetics’. you knew if he could see you right now he’d be laughing at you, teasing you from the stands. _little shit, he wasn’t any better at skating._

out of pure pride, you let go of the wall. you knew tooru couldn’t actually see you and no one was laughing at you - but now this was a challenge for you. it was you against the ice, so you took your time making your way towards the letter, catching yourself a few times from slipping. you got more confident as you got closer to your destination, going a little bit faster. you had to stop yourself a little from skating right over the damn letter, getting a bit ahead of yourself.

you plopped down - not so gracefully - on your ass, crossing your legs the best you could do with sharp skates on. you practically ripped the letter open, all your patience had gone out the door.

**_having fun, princess? god i wish i could’ve seen you struggling on the ice, that would’ve given me a good laugh. haha, but i’m sure you’ve lost all patience by now, right? if i was there, you’d probably just smack me across the head for making you waste so much gas, but i promise you that it’ll be worth it in the end baby. this is the last letter you’ll be retrieving today, congratulations! this is the place we had our first date (obviously), but also the first day that i knew i wanted to spend every day by your side. i remember coming home that night, thinking about how i had never had that much fun on a date with anyone else before. it wasn’t just small talk and flirting, we rambled on about so many things that day together. i barely even remember the skating, but i do remember falling on my ass after promising you that i’d catch you if you fell, yet you never did! the thing that has always stuck out the most in my mind from that day though, was your smile; the way your cheeks scrunched up and your eyes squinted shut. i remember the sound of your giggle when you gave me a hand to help me up. you looked like an absolute angel that day and you still do, every single day. i love you so fucking much you really have no idea. the last place i need you to go to is the place where i told you that i loved you and you told me you loved me back - the place where i realized that it was so much deeper than that, that i was_** in **_love with you._**

you were in shambles by the time you finished reading the note, tears littering the paper. you pushed yourself off the ice and attempted to stand, losing your balance a bit. you shoved the note in your pocket along with the others, then bolted for the exit out of the ice rink. you stumbled on the slippery ice a few times - taking a fall or two, but you got up immediately and kept running.

the second you got your skates off and shoes back on, you were charging for your car like a mad woman. it just dawned on you now how messy you looked, your hair had gotten slightly frizzy, your work clothes were untucked and rumpled, and any remnants of makeup had been sweated off. you were sure the people in the ice rink and library were astonished on how such a messy woman could be getting proposed to-

**_is he proposing? what else could all this be?_ **

your mind was racing as you drove to your last destination, you really hoped he was. you both had talked about starting a family for the past two, maybe even three, years. it was only a matter of time…

the field was 45 minutes away, the two of you found it by aimlessly driving around and listening to music one night almost 5 years ago. you tried not to cry as you sat in the car reminiscing over the years together; remembering every single moment - good and bad.

you parked your car a block away from the field, you weren’t the best at following directions on a gps while driving, so it was quite a surprise to you that you made it there in one try for your first time.

you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself before you drove the last block, closing the distance between yourself and your awaiting boyfriend. you took a minute to fix your disheveled hair with your fingertips in the drop-down mirror above your head. luckily, you had some travel makeup in the glove compartment of your car. you carefully, and quickly, applied some lipgloss, mascara, and a bit of powder to mask the slight shine of grease on your nose. you stared at your reflection for a second, were you ready to be proposed to? you mentally scolded yourself for jumping to the conclusion that it was a proposal for the second time, but you reminded yourself that oikawa always did love grand gestures.

with an affirming slap of your cheeks with both of your hands, you were ready.

the field looked beautiful in the evening, your car clock showed you that it had just turned 6pm a few minutes ago. your vision was filled with the sight of a bright orange sunset dipping into the horizon above the field. you exited your car, legs a bit wobbly from your nerves. the air was crisp and the world around you seemed completely silent, it felt like it was just you and the field.

you relished in the calm atmosphere of the countryside, it almost calmed your fears completely. that was, until you saw him.

he was only a small figure in the distance, shadowed by the long weeds in the field from the waist down. his hair was flowing lightly in the wind, a small breeze that smelled of fresh soil. your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest, and you realized you hadn't felt like this since the day you both confessed your love for each other. same place, but two totally different people.

part of you wanted to slowly close the distance between you and the figure, walking calmly into the sunset with the weeds brushing against your thighs like you were in a movie.

instead, you found yourself running, charging towards the love of your life in front of you. a playful grin spread across his face while he watched the woman he had been in love with for the past 5 years bulldozing through the tall grass towards him. he thought to himself in that moment that you had never looked more beautiful than you did now; wind whipping through your hair, an expression of determination and love written on your face, and your legs kicking through the grass at a speed he had never seen on you before.

**_“tooru!”_** your voice was sweet like honey, despite how loud you were yelling.

his heart swelled in his chest when you finally made contact; breaking the distance between you both as your arms instinctvely wrapped around his neck and his hands found the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer to his chest.

**_“hi baby.”_** he spoke, voice soft and quiet, words laced with love.

you both pulled away a minute into the hug. tooru’s hands remained on your waist; circling shapes into your clothed skin.

**_“darling, i have so much to tell you.”_ **

**_“that makes two of us.”_ **a smile that wouldn't go away played on your lips.

**_“i wanna start by saying that keeping this from you, hiding my months worth of plans, was the hardest thing i've ever had to do. i only just realized how much i confide in you about everything. i wanted to spoil this every single day, but iwa-chan threatened me multiple times not to.”_** the setter chuckled to himself, remembering the various threats hajime used against him.

you giggled along with him, rolling your eyes before silently gesturing him to proceed. 

**_“it shouldn't be a surprise though, really. you're my biggest confidant, my best friend, the love of my life, all while being my girlfriend. but i’ve always known i wanted you to be more. i’ve known it since the first day we came to this spot and stargazed in the middle of the night together. i knew it when i turned my head to the right and watched you, watching the night sky. i remember wondering to myself if your eyes glittered from the reflection of the stars or from how happy you were to be with me, but i knew when you looked back at me, that it was the latter. that's when i spit those words out, ‘y/n, i really love you.’ i remember the look in your eyes when i said that; you didn't even hesitate saying it back, that you loved me back. that's when i knew, knew that we were actually_** in **_love.”_**

your eyes began welling with tears, just as they did when you read his last two letters. but you just nodded firmly with a wobbly smile on your face, encouraging him to go on.

**_“everyday, i wake up next to you and your warmth, i go to practice with you on my mind; your mere existence motivating me to do well. then, i come home to you and your warmth again, house filled with your scent. then, we eat and go to sleep and i get to do it all over again the next day. you’re part of every single one of my days; your smile, your laugh, your pout, your angry face when i do something stupid, your face contorted in pleasure when i’m making love to you, they all live in my mind every single day. i’m constantly reminded of how lucky i am, truly lucky. i'd be a fool, an ungrateful bastard, if i didn't ask for your hand in marriage.”_ **

tooru began lowering himself on one knee, hand digging into his coat pocket to pull out the awaited item. if you didn't feel like you were in a movie before, you definitely did now.

**_“y/n l/n, the absolute love of my life, will you please spend the rest of your life with me, as my wife?”_** his eyes were glazed with moisture from tears that threatened to spill, and his cheeks and the tips of his ears were tinged pink. you looked down at the most gorgeous man in the universe with stars in your eyes. he wore a simple flowy and white button up shirt with blue denim jeans and a silver chain necklace that glistened against his chest. so simple, yet the whole outfit complimented him perfectly; he was absolutely breathtaking.

you knew your answer - there was no hesitation in your heart - but you were so overcome with love, that you found it hard to form words. a little ball sat in the pit of your throat, making you choke on your words and edging fresh tears out of your eyes.

**_“t-tooru, yes. always yes.”_ **you managed to choke out the words before a guttural sob shook your body, causing you to fall into your lovers arms and him to catch you.

you were so busy staring at the beautiful man in front of you - that you didn't even glance over at the expensive ring in the palm of his hand, until he slid it over your finger.

it was a silver band, with a simple design wrapping around the gem; said gem being your birthstone - because he always said how beautiful the color of your birth month looked on you.

you kissed him millions of times in that moment, tears mixing in with the taste of his lips. it was then, that you noticed the camera man and iwaizumi lurking out of the shadows, coming to congratulate you.

your cheeks burned in embarrassment, face going to take shelter in the crook of his neck.

**_“tooru... you didn't tell me we had an audience.”_ **

**_“you know i’m a sucker for grand gestures, y/n-chan.”_** he giggled into your hair, **_“had to get everything on film, and we’re gonna rewatch it every single night - until we get sick of it.”_**

that was the thing about loving tōru oikawa, he remembered every single detail that you didn't expect him to. one of them so happened to be how much grand gestures embarrassed you. he made it a mission during your entire relationship to eventually get you to love them the way he did. he did it slowly, and subtly overtime; starting with small surprises like dinner dates, inching up to chocolates and flowers on anniversaries, birthdays and literally any holidays, graduating to sending love letters and your favorite snacks to your job during random times during the day, and eventually throwing you small surprise parties for events like your birthday or if you got a promotion at work.

and now this, this was his grandest gesture; the one he had been waiting to give you since forever. were you embarrassed? yes. but did you hate grand gestures anymore? nope.

because loving tōru oikawa meant letting go of strict mindsets, it meant loosening yourself up and letting him wiggle himself into your life. loving tōru oikawa taught you that fights didn't have to end in sleeping on the couch or leaving your house for hours to get away from him. you learned quickly that tooru would never let anything get that far; in the end, he would always either apologize to you or just snuggle up to your angry form with a playful pout on his face. and how could you ever stay mad at that face? you loved tōru oikawa **because** he was different from any other person you had ever loved. he pulled on your heart strings in a way that no one else could, he reached inside your body and touched your soul, grasping it in his hands. he saw a completely nude version of you, devoid of any walls or barriers. and in return, he also showed you a naked version of himself, stripped of any faux ego or any cocky cold heartedness - he was real, **one hundred percent** with you.

loving tōru oikawa meant never being alone, because he would never leave your side. it was the one promise he swore to never break.

he made his pledge to be forever faithful to you and to always love you, in sickness and in health. he made this pledge hours ago, standing on the alter in all his glory; clad in a baby blue suit.

you had looked up at him through your faux lashes, veil now lifted above your head. you looked at him exactly the same way you did after he had ran to your house that night 6 years ago, after he had confessed every single one of his insecurities. you looked up at him with pride that he was able to confide in you, and comfort, so he knew that you would always keep safe. you looked up at him the same way now, at the alter, because you knew he was being completely vulnerable in a situation where he'd normally be scared to be. in this instance though, he was in front of almost hundreds of your combined family members.

you both smiled at eachother, nerves apparent in both of your eyes, but love and admiration also swelled in them - above any other emotion.

the i do’s and the passionate kiss that had your family whooping and sobbing for you, was when you realized that loving tōru oikawa would be inexplicable to anyone else - a hands on experience that no outsider would even be able to dream about.

loving tōru oikawa was like dancing to music on an endless loop, song constantly changing to a different rhythm and tempo. before your relationship, the song was fast and overwhelming; fleeting moments at 3 am and rushed hook-ups that only stemmed from lust, and not yet love. the beginning of your relationship was a slow song; two years of repairing each other and stitching up old wounds - holding on to each other for support. the middle of your relationship was a tango; finally understanding each other’s dynamic put you both in a steady rhythm, feet moving perfectly in time with one another. the current state of your relationship was like a cheesy love song from the 50′s; you complimented each other perfectly and planning a marriage only made you guys more in love than ever. some people even went as far as to say that you both seemed to return to the alleged “honeymoon stage” that occurs at the beginning of a relationship, thriving off of each other’s attention and time. 

today’s song was different from each and every song from every time period of your relationship. todays song sounded like a choir, singing about your love to a silky smooth melody.

today is the 6th year of your relationship, and you knew that there wasn't anywhere else you'd rather be with your husband.

because loving tōru oikawa meant that moments like these, moments with **him** ,were irreplaceable and unable to ever be recreated. he never made you feel more special than he did when he was in the moment with you, didn't matter if it was a quick kiss in the morning or if it was a whole day of being together - he made every moment with him special.

though, the most special he had ever made you feel wasn't in the proposal, it wasn't in his love confession, it wasn't that night he spilled everything to you, and it wasn't even the vow that he recited to you before saying i do.

it’s right now, the two of you dancing to your favorite song during the wedding reception while everyone sits in their seats, watching you with pride in their eyes - maybe envy in a few.

right now, tooru’s left hand is warming the small of your back and his right hand is clasped with yours. your left arm is slung around his neck as your cheek rests on his shoulder. he keeps whispering soft praises in your ear, about how much he already loves being your husband, about how the two of you should dash out of here the second that the song is over and make a run for the airport for your honeymoon. your giggles to him are soft, laced with more love than amusement. because in this moment, nothing else exists; its just you, tooru and your shared song.

loving tōru oikawa had become the easiest thing you could do, it was practically like breathing at this point. you loved every part of him, his laugh, his looks, his teasing, his sass, his faux pouting, his playful arrogance, his support, his understanding, his ability to read your like a book, his kiss, his touch, his warmth, his bones, his muscles, his heart and his soul.

loving tōru oikawa _is_ as simple as that.


End file.
